


I'm Not Living If You're Not by My Side

by riversdamsel



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-15
Updated: 2012-05-15
Packaged: 2017-11-05 09:59:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riversdamsel/pseuds/riversdamsel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The idea of her marrying Matt is insane, but also absolutely wonderful, and she wants it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Living If You're Not by My Side

The first time he lays eyes on it, he  _knows_  it doesn't belong anywhere except on Alex Kingston's finger.

It's perfect, really.  A simple gold band with a modest tear drop diamond meant to compliment the finger.  Standing outside the jewelry shop, coffee in hand, Matt stares through the window at the engagement ring shining up at him. It's practically  _begging_  to be bought and the voice inside his head is doing nothing but encouraging him.  But he needs to think it through.  This isn't simply purchasing flowers or a book, this is an  _engagement ring_ \- the physical embodiment of a leap of faith and a promise from the heart that from here on out, no matter what, both are in this together.

His palms are suddenly sweating and he's absolutely  _certain_  that the people passing by can hear his heart pounding out of his chest.  Yes, thinking it through is  _definitely_  the best idea.  Swallowing, Matt forces himself away from the window and continues down the street, but as hard as he tries to think of something else, his thoughts never fail to drift back to marrying Alex.  He giggles then, all high-pitched and full of sudden excitement _.  Marrying Alex_.  He thinks that he quite likes the sound of that.  

Just imagining himself fidgeting as he stands at the altar until the music finally,  _finally_  starts to play and Alex walks down the aisle to be  _his,_  is enough to send his heart racing all over again.  He  _loves_  her.  And her daughter.  They're all he wants, all he  _needs_ , and thought of them becoming his family is enough to have him absolutely beaming all the way to his flat.

The door swings open just as he's reaching for his keys and Alex smiles brightly at him, "Oh good.  I thought I was going to miss you."

"Miss me?" he asks, frowning at the suitcase she's carrying.

She rolls her eyes affectionately, "My flight is in an hour, dear."

He frowns, "I thought you weren't leaving for America until tomorrow."  This earns him another eye roll as she moves past him to the waiting cab and he feels his heart sink as his shoulders slump in disappointment before mumbling, "You could just stay, you know."

When she turns to face him, she can't help but smile softly at his wounded puppy expression.  "I'll only be gone two weeks this time.  And I'm bringing Salome with me when I come back."

He brightens somewhat at that before pulling her to him and kissing her.  When they break, he holds her tightly against him and buries his face in her curls, "I love you."

Alex smiles up at him before giving him a quick kiss and climbing into the cab.  "I love you too, darling."

Matt stares after the car until it disappears then trudges inside to his now painfully empty flat, wishing she would just never leave.

XxX

The airport is crowded but he can spot those curls anywhere.  Before he knows it, he has an arm full of Salome and he's spinning her around as she shrieks happily, his heart flooding with warmth.  He places a kiss to her forehead before setting her down and turning to Alex, who's watching them with a fond smile.  As he kisses her in greeting and Salome turns away from them with her nose scrunched up, he thinks that it must not be possible for a person to burst from happiness, otherwise he  _definitely_  would  _not_  still be in one piece.

It's practically a ritual for them to have dinner at their favorite cafe every time Alex and Salome return from America, so as soon as their things are dropped off in Matt's flat to be unpacked later, they head out the door and begin the short walk.  Salome skips ahead of them and Matt smiles at Alex, lacing his fingers with hers and just glad to have them both back with him.  His family.

"So," Alex starts, a smirk set across her face, "Karen tells me you've done nothing but mope around since I left."

Matt scowls, though the slight twitch of his lips immediately gives him away, "That is  _not_  true.  Kaz is a  _liar_."

Though if he's honest with himself, moping  _perfectly_  describes what he did while she was gone.  His flat didn't feel like home without her there, so he would sulk around set all day and think about how when he climbs into bed later, it would feel too big for his liking and just  _wrong_ without her there for him to wrap his arms around.  Her phone calls would immediately put a smile on his face, and he would drop everything just to reply to her texts, Karen smirking all the while and teasing him about being whipped.

Alex smiles knowingly and raises her eyebrows.  He sighs, " _Fine_.  Maybe I moped a  _little_."  When she chuckles he huffs indignantly, "What?  I missed my wife."

She rolls her eyes as she tries to suppress a smile, " _On-screen_  wife, dear."  Thinking that he hopes to change that soon, he tugs her to a stop and kisses her, smiling against her lips as he feels her melt into him, her fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt.  Warmth spreads through him and settles in his bones, and he thinks he would perfectly happy with kissing her forever.

Their kiss is abruptly interrupted as Alex is intentionally knocked into by a stranger.  The woman scowls at them as she continues down the street, muttering rude comments, though Matt only catches a few of her words.  Most fans have been nothing but supportive of their relationship, but they have been confronted by a few who openly show their disapproval, never failing to bring up their age difference, which he thinks really should be no issue at all.

Anger bubbles within him and he opens his mouth to retort at the woman, but is stopped by a squeeze of Alex's hand.  "Just leave it," she whispers.  When he looks at her she smiles, but he can tell it's forced by the way it doesn't reach her eyes.  His heart clenches painfully because he  _knows_  she's thinking of all the reasons they  _shouldn't_  be together.  Daft woman.  When was she going to realize that there is  _no_  reason?  He was made for her, and her for him- he was just a little late.  But he wouldn't have it any other way.  

He kisses her then, because really, how could he not?  His hands find their way to the sides of her face, kissing her for all he's worth because he  _never_  wants to see her look like that again.  Any second thought he ever had about marrying Alex is gone- he needs her to know that he's in this forever.

XxX

The next day, Matt finds himself back in front of the jewelry store and when he pushes open the door, a small bell announces his entrance.  He finds that the only other person in the small shop is a short, stout man behind one of the counters.  When the man looks up, he beams, "Been wondering if you'd ever decide to come in."  

Matt's brow wrinkles in confusion and the man gestures toward the window, "You stand there  _at least_  five minutes every day just staring at that ring."

Matt flushes, smiling to himself and scratching at the back of his neck, "Yeah...yeah I think I'd actually like to buy it today."  The man hums his approval and pulls the ring from the window, a knowing smile rounding the apples of his cheeks, "Very lucky woman, eh?"

"No," Matt says, outright grinning now, "I'm the lucky one."

When he gets back to his flat, he finds Salome sitting at the kitchen table, her brow furrowed in concentration as she colors in the final details of a very intricate looking drawing.  Matt plops down none too gracefully in the seat across from her and sets the black velvet box by her hand.  Her eyes widen and she looks at him, eyebrows raised, as if asking if it's really what she thinks it is.  His only response is a smile as he fidgets with a piece of his hair. 

Salome gasps when she opens the box, gingerly touching the ring with her finger.  "It's so pretty," she breathes.

Matt hesitates, "...So you think she'll say yes?"

She looks at him as if he's gone daft, and then pauses, as if thinking about what to say, before nodding and simply stating, "Her smile is different."  

Salome must see the confusion written across his face because she sighs and then continues as she goes back to coloring, kicking her feet against the legs of her chair, "When she's with you, her smile is different.  It's one of those smiles that make it seem like she can't get any happier because she has everything she wants right in front of her."  She pauses and grins knowingly at him, "You smile like that at her, too."  Then nodding matter of factly, she adds, "She'll definitely say yes."

Matt grins brightly at her and pockets the small velvet box.  "Don't tell her, okay?"  

"I won't," she swears and makes an x over the left side of her chest, "Cross my heart."

He exits the kitchen just as Alex walks in, stopping to give her a quick kiss before continuing down the hallway, his smile never leaving his face.  When she turns to see Salome beaming at her, she arches an eyebrow and places her hands on her hips, "Alright.  Spill.  What are you two so happy about?"

"Matty told me a secret," Salome states smugly.  "And don't even think about asking!" she adds on, "I crossed my heart that I wouldn't tell."

Alex leans against the counter, "It's some sort of surprise, isn't it?"  Salome only smiles in response so she continues, "Is he planning to take us to dinner?"

Salome giggles, knowing her mother hates it when things are kept from her, "Nope.  It's lots bigger than that."

Alex huffs and throws out a few more guesses that her daughter doesn't even acknowledge before sarcastically asking, "What?  Is he going to ask me to  _marry_  him?"  She laughs at her own seemingly ridiculous suggestion, but the smile falls from her face when she finds Salome staring at her with wide eyes.  Salome quickly gathers her crayons before hurriedly scooting off her chair, "I...um...have to go do something else," she finishes quickly and scurries out of the room.

Mouth slightly open, Alex stares after her, her heart suddenly pounding faster than she thinks it ever has.  Matt is going to ask her to  _marry him_?  Suddenly she finds it hard to swallow as her mind races, unaware of Matt standing right outside the kitchen.

When Salome rushes past him out of the kitchen, Matt _knows_ that Alex knows, however, he wants everything to be perfect when he proposes and he  _doesn't_  want her to be expecting it.  He’s going to have to fix this.

XxX

A week later, Alex sits on the edge of their bed, biting her bottom lip and scanning the room with her eyes.  She shouldn't.  She  _really_  shouldn't.  But if there’s a ring, it  _definitely_  has to be in here, and she just wants to  _see_  it.  

_If_  there is a ring.  If.  Salome never  _actually_  said Matt was going to propose- she could be completely overreacting.  But in that case, there really is no harm in looking, right?  Right.

The first place she searches is the drawer containing all of his ridiculous socks, but comes across nothing.  Determined, she spends half an hour looking in all of the places she thinks he would possibly hide it and finds absolutely nothing.  Huffing, she plops back down on the bed, thinking that maybe he really  _wasn't_  planning on proposing.  In one last attempt, she yanks open the drawer to the bedside table.  Her breath catches when her eyes land on the small black box.

Alex doesn't register the sound of the door opening or the sound of Salome yelling that she and Matt are home, her attention only on that box.  She picks it up as if it's the most fragile thing she's ever touched and she can't help but hold her breath as she opens it.

For a moment she thinks she's seeing things, that maybe her mind is playing tricks on her, but after a moment, she knows it's not.

Earrings.  Pearl earrings.  That is what’s in the box.

She can't help the disappointment that washes over her.  They are beautiful earrings, they really are, but they're just  _not_  what she was hoping for.  Her shoulders slump and she scolds herself inwardly- she shouldn't be  _hoping_  for anything.  Sighing heavily, she realizes that she hadn't known just how badly she wanted it to be a ring.  The idea of her marrying Matt is  _insane_ , but also absolutely wonderful, and she  _wants_  it.  She loves everything about him from his ridiculous chin, to his ever-present clumsiness, to the way he smiles at her when she wakes up in the morning.  And honestly, she can't imagine spending the rest of her life with anyone else.

Matt clears his throat to announce his presence and she jumps, standing up immediately.  He beams, "So what do you think?  Like them?" he asks, gesturing towards the earrings.  He would never tell her, but he's been watching her since she opened the box.  He saw her face fall with disappointment and he couldn't help but smile inwardly because that means she wants it to be a ring- she wants to marry him.

Alex musters a smile and wraps her arms around him, "They're beautiful, dear."  Matt smiles into her curls as he hugs her tightly, knowing she won't be expecting a proposal from him anytime soon.

Mission accomplished.

XxX

When he wakes the morning before Alex is supposed to go back to America, his heart sinks.  Tomorrow she would be leaving.  Again.  She wouldn't be filming anymore Who until the finale, but he didn't see why she couldn't just  _stay_.

And on top of that, he still has yet to ask her to marry him.  He wants to take her somewhere nice for dinner and propose, but every time he tries it just doesn't  _feel_  right.  The proposal is supposed to be perfect, and now he's guessing he's going to have to wait until she gets back to ask.  Sighing heavily, he pulls her closer to him and buries his face in her hair, inhaling the wonderful scent of her shampoo and something that is just so uniquely  _her_.

Alex stirs and curls further into him before blinking up at him sleepily, "Good morning."

He smiles softly and presses a kiss to her temple, "Good morning."

For a moment they're silent and he thinks she's drifting back to sleep when he whispers, "I don't want you to leave..."

She hums and her eyes blink open again, "And what would you prefer I do instead, darling?"

Matt locks his eyes with hers and his answer is immediate, "Marry me."

Oh.  So much for his perfect plan.

She's wide awake now, but before she can say anything he continues, "I want to walk in everyday and see your shoes sitting next mine and your coat hanging on the rack.  I want to go to bed every night with you by my side and wake up every morning to see that tiny smile that plays across your lips when you sleep.  I love you.  More than anything.  And-” here she cuts him off with a fierce kiss, knowing what comes next can only be the beginning of a ramble.  Tangling his hands in her curls, he kisses back until the need to breathe overwhelms him and they're forced to break apart.

"So that's a yes, then?"

Alex rolls her eyes, her smile bright, "Yes."


End file.
